yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
