you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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