So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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