I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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