we're blogging at a bar
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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