I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
