I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
