bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
