I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
