jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
