He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
please come you make the beer taste better
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize