I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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