And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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