all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
its liver damage thursday
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