The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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