I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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