So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
