Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
