Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
it's like iHOP with fire
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
