5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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