You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
