Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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