I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 609 share tweet
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
