Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
organizing the empties. That sober.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
