question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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