I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
