I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
39 Memes Anyone Who Cries When They See Their Bank Account Will Relate To
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving