i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know