didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
ok i will unlock the door
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!