Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest