Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.