the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I touched a dick in church today
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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