dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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