Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
