I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
