a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
