Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
