shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
