I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
