I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Randomize
