Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
