What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
