Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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