all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
