What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
