it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
