I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
