I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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