So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
i out mim tonsoeep
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize