In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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