The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize