i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
