dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I have so many feelings about this burrito
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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