I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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