She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
NoShamevember. You game?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
