All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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