Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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