Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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