So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
