You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
