i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Ketchup is God's man juice
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
