I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
