I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
