we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
