Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
